2024 Preseason Trash Talk

2024 Registration is Officially Open

Let the trash talk begin...

If anyone sees this, ARE there any pick-up games happening this month?

@bryce
not for you

Who has some predictions

Yearly predictions:

Scoring champ - Tank
INT leader - Tank
Sack Machine - Tank
Best hair - Tank
Best style - Tank
Fastest man - Tank
Fastest over 40 - Tank
Longest FG - Tank
Longest punt - Tank
Most hat throws - Tank
Most yelling at refs - Tank
Most flags thrown - Tank
Most finals appearances without a win - Tank
Most handsome - Tank
Regular season winner - Tank
League champ - Jelani & Co.

3 Days until draft.
Who are the QBs this year?

SAME QBS AS LAST YEAR

When is the Draft? 14 or 22

14th, but where? Tap?

Yes, Draft is at the Tap tomorrow - August 14th @ 7:00PM

@exec. Can someone stream the draft on insta live again please and thank you!

For any QBs currently working on their mock draft for tonight, the website as been updated to allow you to view previous teams & stats.

See the dropdown at the top right of each page for previous years.

Nice addition to the team list view. I can finally delete the screen shots Connor Stallions sent me off my phone of the previous years teams.

There's only one draft takeaway to be had. Joe James put on an absolute drafting masterclass

Yes he did, but it’s not the size of the sword, but the skill of the swordsman.

Meh. I mean its okay but doesn't blow me away. Need a lot of things to bounce right. One might say He's high on hopeium

Excited to see the way too early predictions! Good luck everyone!

1. Joes team finishes first in regular season but loses first playoff game squandering their championship hopes.
2. Jamie wins the double crown: OMVP, DMVP
3. Frank to miss over 3.5 games with injury
4. Jelani has mediocre season due to number of games missed but pulls out a championship win.
5. Matt and Jack will Duke it out in the toilet bowl.

What about Spack. He has the fastest man, best punter and field goal kicker. He is definitely up for a repeat.

Spack doesn't kick field goals unless he's up by 80 and looking at the roster I don't see that happening

Spack won’t be able to do what he did last year, not enough weapons. It is hard to say who will be the best teams this year there is a lot of good looking a squads

ricardo you gonna throw better this year????

Exec. Sent you my post. It won't work for me.

@lebron worry about yourself Ricardo’s team will be out for blood

Post test

Did Drew just conduct a “post test”? Asking for a friend.

Get used to this... Joe James on the top of board

The disciples are still dreaming … that chart is too blurry to read, because it’s just a fantasy … wake up call starts August 31st.

Meanwhile, all the doubters on Noah’s Team Old Guys last season, nothing but crickets when he rolls out Team Old Guys Volume 2.

No you're just old and have bad eyes like the rest of Noah's ark.

Also you can click the picture to make it clearer...boomer

Old eyes, yes.

But nothin on Joe’s team is gonna click this year. It’s gonna be a blurry, fuzzy, out of focus mess. Team Noah’s Ark by 40 days, 40 nights, 40 points.

hush @stoop i will lock you up

I can't believe the amount of betas on Spackman's team this year. If Spackman can get it done with them it will be a true miracle

By get it done I mean win one game

What QB has the most dangerous top 3?

1 Joe
2 Jelani
3 Noah (but Frank will be hurt by half time so prob lower actually)
4 Ricardo
5 Spack
6 Kyle
7 Matt
8 Jack

Feel free to drop your list

Dude, you can swiftly drop that list because Captain Jack is going to take out the whole fleet.

Drop your list bucko

1st rounders comp to NFL players...not pulling any punches here, cry

Joe - small, quick, crispy routes, not enough = Cole Beasley

Jamie - thinks he's better than he is, always carried by the QB = Edelman

Frank - never healthy, bust = Tavon Austin (but a much less athletic version)

Dave - solid hands, good in 2015 = Larry Fitzgerald

Nick - lesser football player of the brothers = Derek Watt

Bo - big, fast, no hands = Chase Claypool

Jack - beta receiver, thinks they run good routes but never gets open in man = Jerry Jeudy

Tyler - big, fast, can't run routes = Nkeal Harry

Agree or disagree? Let me know I promise I won't read them

CAPTAIN JACK IS SINKING WITH THE SHIP

That’s all I needed….

Good list but I take Kyle’s 3 before Ricardo and Spack’s.

@skip

I like some of your thinking, but I feel a bit differently.

Joe - fastest guy in the league in the open field. With those looks he might’ve even sired more offspring than a Clarkin. - Tyreek Hill

Jamie - are we rating his offense or defense? Stephon / Trevon Diggs

Tank - Don’t piss him off because he’ll pretend to hurdle you, but really just drop kick you in the face at midfield, then pop off on social media. Antonio Brown.

Dave Z - Nicest guy in the league, but rather uncouth. Beer farts make him very unpleasant to cover. Pinball Clemons.

Nick - I’m losing track here. He’s slowing down, and other Clarkin’s are starting to take over. Antonio Cromartie - he’s only sired half as many as Tyreek, but he’s tied with his pops.

Bo - I’ll just copy the above. Gronk.

Jack - young, fast, building experience. Stepping into a number 1 role will tell us a lot if he’s due for a second contract, or a legit WR2. Jaxon Smith-Njigba

Tyler - Another big man finding himself in round one. - Harold Carmichael.

What team has the best players from rounds 4-8? That's the real meat of the roster.

Noahs team with TJ, Klassen, Alex Lindsay and Kyle Roberts is solid.

Jack also good with drew, Riley, kitch and Jomo.

Call me Starvin' Marvin Harrison because the NOAH-TANK connection is about to put up 114 points this season. I'm a better hurt number 2 than the rest of the field healthy. And my defensive upside as a number 2 is unmatched. I might be outclassed in athleticism, but that clearly hasn't been a deterrent to me making the finals every year that I've been healthy. Last year I was shredding teams on 2 hurt hamstrings. I make mother fucking plays.
Having TO and TJ anchor the team might have been the biggest slip up the WMFL has ever seen.
Jelani, I'm coming for you brother. Taking Josh and Billy will prove to be your downfall.
I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum.

Shredding? Assuming u played 4 games (which I’m not sure u made it that long), you averaged 3 points a game. We must have different definitions of shredding

Frank, with all due respect,

Here are the spreads and a prop for the Week 1 games. Send me your cash just make sure you have an interpreter

1.

Game Line
Matt (-12.5) vs. Jack (+12.5)

Prop
Anytime TD for a teenager on Team Matt (-10000)

2.

Game Line
Jelani (-1.5) vs. Kyle (+1.5)

Prop
Both Kyle and Nick to show up not hungover (+800)

3.

Game Line
Ricardo (+5.5) vs. Spackman (-5.5)

Prop
Team Spackman to attempt a field goal (+700)

4.

Game Line
Noah (+2.5) vs. Joe (-2.5)

Prop
Frank to get a flag while sitting on the sideline (-150)

@TANK
catching 12 passes a game shitting on every defender who tried to cover me. just because im not the one scoring, doesnt mean im not tearing defenders apart. how fucking dense are you coward.

@tank
Shut up boomer

I apologize to my fans. Still waiting on the exec to post my preseason rankings i sent them 10 daya ago. With holding my week one posts until it's up. Screen shot if possible exec??. Sorry I used type writer. I am old and washed up.

Franks my GOAT

He’s also my GOAT. Let me show you.🐐

https://youtu.be/RddW8ky0I3Q?si=nlbWk8tc16k27_Rr

everyone is more dense than you. Your bones are incredibly porous which is why you are injured all the time hahahahaha

@Colin Cowherd if you send me the post, I can put it up for you.

This post was written Aug 17th ****

The message board was looking a little sparce last year. Thought I would come back and give you some
reading material. A little effort please "@EARLY PREDICTIONS". Still better than all the quiet mice
who don't post anything though ;).

Only doing this write up because it is jesus (Joe James ) Birthday today and he asked me to.

Preseason rankings in reverse order. Taking a year off is leaving me rusty, a lot of names I don't
recognize. Not my normal 1.5 hour write up, this one should be under 30 min to write.

8th-Last place
Coal Grey-
Jamie is awesome, coffee pre game and sweats tucked into his socks and he will be mvp again. Mario is
another nice pick. Mike Marci, Jules, Jordy, and duffy are also nice picks. The only problem with this
team is they have the worst QB in the league who also throws nice picks, see what I did there?. Jamie cant
carry them. I am sure they will have a win or two, but they can only go as far as their qb. The only plus is
Joe can play D, which they will be on a lot with 3 and outs.

7th
Black
Lots of height with their first two picks, tyler and stoop. 3 tylers on the same team wow. Harrison, Jai,
Pinto, and Jason are all solid. Love ricardo also, just too many unknowns on this team for me. I never
even saw rookie of the year stoop last year. Hope this ranking fires up this team. Ricardo in his
sophomore year should get the offense moving, or toss jump balls. Question marks on D though.

6th
Red
Somehow I recognize almost every name on this list minus noah. And that doesn't bode well. This is an
old washed team. Taking a flyer on a quitter like Z, dumb. Patrick is a nice pick and king is a good steal,
but missing on the chance to take chris miller may come back to bite them. Then we have the old guard,
the team of best friends, synder, jomo, drew. The friend list team in the league perhaps with Pete and
Danny and Waleed. Geoff the iron man. This team will be okay on D with all the experience. But I don’t
see where the points will come from, and that's nothing against Jack, hes great, the weapons are lacking.

5th
Royal Blue (After all the years the exec cant find different colours to stop this double blue teams and coal
and black nonsense) They need a new pres ;)

I actually love their first 3 picks, nick, even with the belly, Murg and neearj will be dominat on offense,
and Kyle is now a seasoned vet at the helm. Buffet, walsh, salmers, steven, and best will need to step up
to get this team into the final four. Glenn and falco are lovley, and 2 unknowns for me make this team a
question on defense. I wouldn't be shocked if this team cracks the top 4, not a slight against them putting
them 5th, I just love the top teir teams more. Sorry Clarkin team! For all of your protection needs go
COPS, and your siding and outdoor house check out KN siding!

4th
Baby Blue
Really tough putting them here but I don't recognize half the roster. I could be way wrong and this is a
top team. Colin knows that any team lead by Matt is going to be good. Bo and Ryan are steals! These
guys have chemistry from past tournament glory. Peyton top 3 pick is wild! Then I don't recognize
anyone until the oldies but goodies in brett seabiscuit, Robbie Edwards and Raf and now raf jr jr. Matt
will find a way to score with anyone, but their D could have holes with all the new faces. Unless all these
guys played last year. Still making the semi finals!

3rd
Green
Hard to put a Noah led team not in the finals. His teams are always top 2 in scoring. The Frank pick was a
nice one, I was told he wasn't playing this year but he fooled me. Chris Miller is the steal of the draft, and
new fastest man in the league come mid season comp. Gotta love Noah, TJ and T.O all getting back
together to wreak havoc on defenses. Klassen, JJ, Alex Lindsay are savvy veteran picks. I love the mix of
scoring threat and also defensive prowess on this team with Frank and Chris. I hope this team stays
healthy, that is my only question mark and why I have them missing out on the finals.

2nd
Purple
I am sure this team will be lackluster in the reg season as usual with Jelani then they will turn it on come
playoff time and make a finals push. Getting the top pick and not taking Jamie was interesting but
Roccasalva has proved hes a top pick. Wyatt a second rounder is the penalty for being picked first, less
help for Rocca. Wyatt may prove me wrong and prove his worth. Bryce is the best of third rounders
though, Will and Tony are excellent picks. Jelani, keep toni in line, a little hot headed. Some unknowns
Jelani will have to teach if his attendance is better than it has been. Billy not with frank almost gets a title

for the katratisisisis. Clarkin and Miggy and pringle can help on O but not on D. Jelani will make magic
happen to get to the finals. It is a shape they will run into a train in the finals.

1st
White
Back to back champs for Spack. And I only recognize 5 names on his squad. But somehow all of Spacks
unknowns he seems to know or bring to the league and end up awesome, a la stoop etc. Tim, Patrick,
Nick and of course Jack and G are the staples. Jack has proved he is a first rounder. A little shocked G
didn't go 1 and jack 2 but whatever. This team will torch defenses. And annoy the hell out of other teams
and the refs, not always with their great play but 3 vocal hot heads who are still working on their tempers,
Jack, Giorgio, and Spack. The thing is, they wont have much to yell about when they are up 40 on some
teams. Cant wait to see all of the names I don't recognize on this team and future stars of
Whitby. Congrats guys, don't break the trophy if you have a tantrum at the bar Nov 15th after the game.

Jesus' birthday is December 25th you goof. How can we take your predictions serious when you don't even know His birthday?

A starting 5 receiving corpse of Chris, Tank , TJ,TO, and JJ is either incredible or a train wreck I can’t figure out which.

^I think you meant receiving core, not corpse. Unless it was intentional, and if so, well played sir, well played.

It's corps not corpse or core. Does anyone here have two brain cells to rub together?

I know Colin Coward (that's on purpose poser copy editor) doesn't, he can't even figure out how to make a post.

^^^ Hey shut the fuck up! You leave Cowherd alone. The man owns your mother. Nerd.

Just read over the trash talking…. Love it. It was good to see the ones that I saw today and I’m looking forward to seeing the ones that I didn’t. I wish all the best to all teams except when facing the team in black.